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Joke of the Day

"I've just broke up with my girlfriend. ""It's not you,"" I said. ""It's me: I hate you."""

"Why type of nut do Wallflowers like? Walnuts"

"My opinions are like my bed sheets. I only change them if it helps me get laid."

"I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week... we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!"

"I don't understand why, with all the modern technology we have, objects in the mirror can't be the exact size as they appear"

"Its funny how chocolate can make your clothes shrink"

"Q: Why don't blonde's like audio-books? A: There aren't any pictures."

"Just took a 70% lean meatloaf out of the oven, and now it's supposed to ""rest"" because in America even our food is fat and lazy."

"Why is a Mexican midget called 'a paragraph'? Because he's not a full ese."

"Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth? Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard."