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Joke of the Day
"How does a bass player turn off the lights before bed? He closes the car door."
Next Joke
"What do men do after orgasm? 1% Do it again 1% Go Smoking 1% Fall Asleep 97% Clear History EDIT: Punctuation"
"Four out of five dentists recommend brushing to deal with plaque. The other one recommends attaching a lion head to it."
"Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??"
"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming."
"[DARK] A bulky muslim man walks into a gay bar... He says ""EVERYONE, WANNA SEE THESE GUNS??"" Everyone ""YEEEAAAHHH!!!"" And. Thats how Orlando happened. And dark humor is never too soon :)"
"""The mood was somber plus it was a total sausage fest. The unlimited fish & loaves were a nice touch though.""-Yelp review of the Last Supper"
"Name a household appliance that you everyday... my wife...but shes gone and i need to do the dishes myself now"
"Italian Spies Why do Italians make good spies? Because they're masters of ""DEESE GUYS!"""
"Why do pigs love Halloween? There's lots of hogsgobblin."