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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you sell chicken to a deaf man? A: HEY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN??!!!!!!!"

"Probably once a year some dumb Whale excitedly swims up to the coast of Wales humming, ""Mama, I'm coming home."""

"3849. Buying picture frame. 3850. Changing batteries in flashlight. 3851. The X-Games. 3852. Scotch tape. (List of most exciting things.)"

"Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion."

"I'm no gynecologist but I know a c*nt when I see one."

"Joke from my cousin Her: Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: Why? Her: To get to the ugly guy's house. Me:??? Her: Knock knock Me: Who's there? Her: It's the chicken!"

"My mate Sid had his ID stolen. ""So now i just call him S"""

"Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic."

"AROMATHERAPY CONUNDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing? #retweet #grief"

"Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland The barman says ""Not Yewtree again"""