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Joke of the Day
"Who has two thumbs and looks an awful lot like Alec Baldwin? Alec Baldwin"
Next Joke
"If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars"
"Captain America Civil War Joke. What's War Machines favorite dance move? The Crawlington"
"Have you heard the joke about Murphy's Law? It goes like... no wait... ah, damn it."
"I got a girl pregnant in high school. Her son grew to be 6 foot 7 (200 cm). Biggest mistake I ever made."
"I can't wait to find out who's playing Donald Trump in the next season of American Horror Story"
"My wife got mad at me for starting another British TV series... I said, ""don't worry, it'll be over soon."""
"If you set fire to LMFAO they'll become ROTFLMAO."
"endless breadsticks. bottomless fries. yawning abyss of onion rings. HOWLING DESOLATE CHASM OF POTATO SKINS"
"Most girls: ""I hangout with guys, there's less drama."" Me: ""I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."""