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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!"

"He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!"

"Hi, I'd like to order a baby ""Excuse me?"" It says here you deliver babies? ""Sir this is a hospital"" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]"

"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"

"Pssst! I'm voting. Does anyone know the answer to #4? And who do I show my tits for extra credit? That old lady doesn't look interested."

"What does an Australian chemist call is bro? Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong"

"Women's Magazines: Pg 1. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20kg in 10 days."

"""My night's about to get better now that you're turned on."" ... said the student to his printer when he finished his essay."

"give a man a shoe and he'll be confused as to what he needs one shoe for. teach a man to shoo and you won't have to deal with his confusion."

"What subject did Dracula major in during college? AcCOUNTing This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere."