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Joke of the Day

"APPLE GENIUS: [looks around nervously] if I had a criticism of this phone it would be that- {trapdoor} NEW APPLE GENIUS: that it's perfect."

"What does Trump have to do to win the election? Show off his erection."

"What's another word for knowing that you're right? Woman"

"I just drank some honey wine I'm feeling pretty buzzed."

"Top Gun was so unrealistic Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle"

"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"

"To the people who don't like me... suck it. To the people that do like me... same thing. "

"Life is too complicated in the morning."

"What did the Banana say to the Vibrator ""I don't know why you're shaking, she's going to eat me!"""

"""Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs."" - inventor of Whopper Candies."