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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick and tired of the jokes on this sub, so I'm going to kill my foot. Yeah, that's right. I'm putting my foot down."

"Why was John Lennon so ashy? Because he was cremated"

"The first time I stayed at my girlfriends' house, her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. Shame, he's very attractive."

"What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club? Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants..."

"Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman."

"Someone asked a ship captain if the rumor that he can't swim is true. ""Yes,"" he replied. ""Can pilots fly?"""

"My wife gives me sound advice. 99%Sound,1%Advice."

"Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale Buzz Lightyear popped up and said ""TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"""

"An orchestra concert is no place for a child. Sometimes there's intense violins"

"A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: ""And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"" the reporter asked. She simply replied ""No peer pressure."""