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Joke of the Day

"I want to call my daughter Bellaillusions... because tricks are something a whore does for money."

"How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb. None. Californians screw in hot tubs."

"Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!"

"Anyone who's says, ""It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"", has obviously never gone through a divorce."

"How did Popeye keep his tool clean? NSFW He dipped it in Olive Oyl"

"I like my women like I like my clothesline. Strung out and tied up."

"So I heard that Paul Walker, actor in Fast and Furious, died at the age of 40 in a car crash. I suppose he had bad *karma*"

"My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said ""Like a cheap castle."" Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, ""No ball room."""

"I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet."

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she's holding a grenade !"