190820

Joke of the Day

"I once asked an Irishman ""Why do the Irish always answer questions with another question?"" He said, ""do we now?"""

"How I view dogs: Beagle, German Shepherd, Poodle, Pitbull, Labrador. How I view cats: Cat, cat, cat, cat."

"I'm claustrophobic... I'm afraid of Santa."

"how are women like a quantum computer? they are both turned on and off by you at the same time."

"What's gray and comes in quarts? According to my mom, my new stepdad"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"What do you call the conversation between two birds after they've had sex? Pillowsquawk"

"I'm one step away from being rich All I need now is money"

"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"

"Lmao ""bikes"". Basically a shitty motorcycle that you propel with your own legs. What is this, the flintstones?"