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Joke of the Day

"Label every torrent you upload with your e-mail address and other contact information so peers can thank you"

"Be sure to use the word ""irony"" correctly. It means when something's, you know, just weird."

"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Not 6. My basement is still dark."

"""Damn girl! I think you're giving me mesothelioma cuz yo ass bestest!"""

"I just used 'medieval' and 'archaic' in a text message. I know people, I don't get how I'm not still a virgin either."

"Every chair is a reclining chair when you're drunk."

"How'd the husband know his wife was fooling around? Got home from work, kicked off her panties, and they stuck to the wall"

"Organic chemistry is difficult Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."

"What is the difference between a jew and a Christian There is no difference. I don't discriminate when I kill."