14690

Joke of the Day

"""Blown out of all proportion"" ... .. is a cliche you don't see every day of the week."

"Upvote this if you're in North Korea! ....wait...."

"My dick is good at math. What I'm trying to say is that it's the small things that count."

"I was sold a calculator with the plus button missing. Something doesn't quite add up."

"Deshsawn, Jamal, Tyrone, Darryl, and Darnell all went to see a movie... The 3 of them had fun."

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer? One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'"

"When I'd go to clubs, I spent half the time texting people who weren't there. Eventually I realized I could just send those texts from home."

"I just tried to follow Tim Howard on twitter... I got blocked."

"Toddler: I don't like you. *hits* Adult: I don't like you. *tracks your movements for the rest of your life*"