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Joke of the Day

"Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother"

"Where'd the rabbi stay on business? The L'Hyatt"

"Women don't make good meteorologists because they're never wrong"

"Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?"

"Mountain ranges aren't funny They're hill areas."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, You're a 9 ... and I'm the 1 you need!"

"How many psychologist does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself."

"They found a hole in the wall at the local prison The police are looking into it"

"Before I rush off to the bathroom to pee, I just wanted to tell you what a good friend you are to me. On a scale from 1 to 10... *urinate*"

"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says ""If an emergency, notify:"" I put ""DOCTOR"". What's my mother going to do?"