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Joke of the Day

"Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?"

"I'd never appear on Leno now because I have strict ethical standards, so next time you're watching Leno and you don't see me that's why."

"They say there's safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews..."

"What do an 80 year old smoker and the Japanese House of Representatives have in common? They only have an erection every 4 years"

"Why is it called 'Your Bowels' and not 'Your Instinks'"

"I like my beer like I like me sex slaves..... Imported"

"What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game? At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded."

"What do you call a person who fights fire? Firefighter."

"Long term health risks include death... DOESN'T THAT END YOUR TERM?!?!?!"

"Doctor: ""Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"" Patient: ""Oh my god. What is the cure??!"""