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Joke of the Day
"Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related."
Next Joke
"I painted my laptop black so it would run faster... ...but now it doesn't work."
"It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged."
"What's an owl's favorite song? The Who's Who are you? Hoot hoot. Hoot hoot."
"What has two feet, two hands, two eyes, and two noses? Two pirates."
"The morning after a long night of drinking, I went to buy a flower arrangement. The guy at the counter asked me if I had been drinking. I said, ""No. I woke up like this. Florist."""
"If you have bladder problems. Urine trouble."
"Now I understand why the British population was on a steady decline these past few years... Brits are really good at pulling out."
"For our 25 year anniversary, my wife asked me for a present that goes from 0-200 in seconds. I got her a bathroom scale."
"What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control? Someone gets fired."