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Joke of the Day

"When you look at Twitter's trending topics, it's a lot easier to understand why they have to write ""Do Not Eat"" on silica gel packets."

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar The bartender asks her ""why the long face?"" !"

"I don't know what's more disturbing? My son reading a billboard that says ""LIVE NUDE GIRLS"" or him asking if there's dead ones."

"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."

"[fans out the deck] Pick a card, any card.. Memorize it.. [hits you in the face with a shovel] KING OF SPADES! [walks off]"

"What do you call a mushroom that picks up the bar tab? A FUNGI to be with!"

"I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe"

"Your Google search history is the real you."

"The worst moment for an insomniac is that flutter of realisation that you are falling asleep, which smacks you wide awake again."

"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' Catholic."