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Joke of the Day

"As a teen I assumed the best thing about being an adult would be going to bed as late as I wanted. Little did I realise it's the opposite."

"Witch l: ""How do you manage to stay in shape?"" Witch 2: ""I get a lot of hexercise."""

"The weather in England is like the Muslims in Iraq. It's either Sunni, or Shiite."

"What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ? A brick-layer !"

"What's a Jehovah's Witness's favorite band? The Doors."

"Ronda Rousey and I have something in common We both finish in 34 seconds."

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"First hockey game at the leper colony There was a face off and a hand-pass"

"I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p. I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation."

"Where do muslim terrorists go when they die? INTO BUILDINGS"