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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Converting your dishwasher into a snow blower! Give the bitch a shovel!"

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down."

"If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow... I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow"

"The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do."

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"I went to the store to get 6 cans of sprite... Ended up picking 7up"

"There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version."

"Does your wife have dry lips? Because I saw her putting some chap's dick on her lips"

"Shoutout to... Shoutout to my grandpa because that's the only way he can hear"

"3 cows are standing in a field Cow 1: did you hear the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow"