164735

Joke of the Day

"3 cows are standing in a field Cow 1: did you hear the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow"

Next Joke
 
"Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?"
"The opposite of SpongeBob SquarePants is TowelWeave CircleShorts"
"Why did the hillbilly cross the road? His dick was in the chicken"
"What happens when two bald men put their heads together? They make an ass of themselves"
"[dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick"
"I went to a party with a group of pacifists the other night. It was pretty killer."
"Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion? Because it was outstanding in its field"
"What's the most dangerous bar to go to in the middle east? The allahu ak-bar"
"I have a friend who is really into Christianity... ...he goes to church religiously."