157499

Joke of the Day

"I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends."

"Why is Captain Hook good at getting away with murder? He leaves no fingerprints"

"What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple."

"Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated"

"Latey, my aphabet has been a the pace, I bame the fact there's ""noel"""

"""First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO"" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish"

"What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one? You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time"

"A blonde walks into a bar The man behind her just walks around it."

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."

"After getting off the ski lift, my mate said ""Let's go hit the slopes!"" I'm like, ""Why do you want to beat up those Japanese tourists?"""