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Joke of the Day
"Who was the least funny U.S. President? FDR. His standup could use some work."
Next Joke
"""I can't understand a word he says"" A: Meet my new born brother. B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name? A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says."
"Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box"
"Earth: Goodnight Moon Moon: ... Earth: I said Goodnight Moon' Moon: ... Earth: Look, I don't choose which days they celebrate Moon: Whatever"
"[judge at restaurant] ""I will try... the lobster"" [2 hours later] ""I find the lobster guilty of money laundering and embezzlement"""
"Why did the Indian pedophile miss work? He was feeling a little Sikh."
"""Seriously? No one has ANY other suggestions??"" - Guy at the meeting to name Siemens Mattress Company"
"Obviously, Mario Kart is not a documentary. It's a dramatization of real events."
"What do you call an arranged marriage between two communists who don't like each other? A so-be-it union."
"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa."