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Joke of the Day

"QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people."

"What they don't tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh."

"Why couldn't Jonah convert the Ninevites? Because he was too inefficient."

"Just had to re-watch the Rousey v Nunes fight... Because it finished before I did"

"[police interrogation room] Officer: you've been identified as the runner who.. Me: Let me stop you right there."

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""

"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by 5"

"What do you find at the end of a double rainbow? A group of gay men"

"How did ""El Chapo"" escape prison? Joaquin."

"Recently my girlfriend has got into equestrian bdsm Last evening she asked me to watch her whip, then watch her nay nay"