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Joke of the Day

"A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex. The older chimp says: ""When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."""

"Sometimes I miss my ex. So I drop it into reverse and try again."

"My review of Ebert's latest venture: I give it 6 feet down"

"What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !"

"Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white...."

"Poker Face. But I barely know her!"

"Kudos to Mattel for making Barbie reflect the average woman! I'm buying the one with massive student loan debt & a fear of cement trucks."

"Glad to live in a time where being social doesn't require making eye contact."

"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."

"Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, ""IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE"" he fumes"