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Joke of the Day

"I think my doctor has OCD too... He diagnosed me with CDO."

"diseases you get after marriage onegina"

"The best part about owning a pet. You can blame your dog for farting, you can blame your cat for things falling over at night, and you can blame your goldfish for the screaming in the basement."

"A woman is watching the food channel... Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook! She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!"

"old one's are the best. that's why i'm barred from the care home."

"little son knows How to scare parents? Dad: ""Can I see your report card, son?"" Son: ""I don't have it."" Dad: ""Why?"" Son: ""I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."""

"My wife yelled, ""This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash"", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over."

"We see you, guy who ""doesn't want any pizza,"" contributes no money, then eats 6 slices when it arrives. We see you, and God sees you."

"Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying."

"Politicians have more need of diapers than babies because they're full of way more shit."