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Joke of the Day

"I imagine the best part about driving a smart car is that when there's no parking spots you can just put it in your backpack."

"What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!"

"I inform my 4 year old that she's going to a friend's house 5 minutes before we leave so she only asks me when we're going 6000 times."

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."

"Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!"

"Trump took a dump. He pumped. He jumped. Thump Thump. Whump!"

"I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life"

"What's do call a masrbating cow? Beef stroganoff..."

"""Star Wars"" fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new ""Star Wars"" movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han Solo all waking up in Vegas."