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Joke of the Day

"Hard to believe it's 2017 I'm still writing ""this is a nightmare fuck everything omg"" on my checks."

"What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business."

"How many white people can you fit in a can? Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!"

"What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska"

"Believe in yourself. Build a religion around yourself. Canonize your quotidian tasks. Build idols of yourself in your best outfits."

"A joke I thought of: I don't know if fo' sho' means ""for short"" or ""for shore"", but I like to think that people are being overly nautical."

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!"""

"Ellen Pao reminds me of this guy I know... His name is OP"

"If you put me on hold and you come back while I am audibly pooping, that's on you."

"If you ever feel useless... .. Remember that there is a comment section on porn sites."