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Joke of the Day

"The Republicans told us that if we let the gays marry, soon people'd be marring horses! I'm still waiting. :("

"A dead person, a 2 year old, and a thot are all asked to count to ten. Which one can do it? It's the thot that counts."

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Preferably not dead from cancer."

"How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso."

"""Hi, I'm Justin Timberlake."" *notices that he's actually a large body of salt water, not fresh water* ""Nice try, Mr. Timberocean."""

"They say sex burns as many calories as running 5 miles.... WHO THE HELL RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS !!!"

"What did the clitorus say to its neighbor when he moved out of town.. See you labia"

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"

"When my swear jar gets full I'm gonna use the money to buy a motherfucking puppy!"

"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."