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Joke of the Day

"ME: haha u dare me to take off all my clothes and run thru this park COP: no ME: wow I cant believe ur making me do this lol COP: I'm not"

"-What should we name this creature w/ big feet? ""Bigfoot"" -And this w/ saber teeth? ""Sabertooth"" -And this beaverduck? ""Platypus"" -wtf dude"

"When Santa arrives at home, he says: Honey, I'm ho-ho-home! ... I'll show myself out."

"In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me."

"Watching ""Annie"" all I could think was, ""That redhead kid is going to make a hideous adult."""

"Eric Clapton Did you know Eric Clapton's son was a speed reader? Six stories in 2 seconds."

"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"Anal sex is like your first car.. You dont want it but your dad gives it to you anyway."

"I have a fetish for paradoxes. They really turn me off."