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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order."

"Why is the media making such a big deal about the olympic swimmer's period? It's a perfectly normal female body function that, according to my wife, occurs 2-3 times per month."

"A pyromaniac recently joined tinder... He got a lot of matches"

"I'm still waiting for the episode of Extreme Home Make Over where they demolish a hobo's cardboard box and build him a crate..."

"The internet is an amazing thing. One minute I'm at work looking up random pages, passing the time, the next minute I'm at home looking for a new job."

"What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions? A pasta free."

"What does the murderer say after he kills someone with a nail gun? Nailed it."

"Did you hear about the 120 pound man with the 60 pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts."

"Bottom line: parenting interferes with my ability to be lazy."

"Maybe there is no baby I'm starting to suspect my wife's been stuffing her shirt with an increasingly large series of hams Now I'm hungry."