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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu? For swine flu you need ""Oinkment"", for bird flu you need ""Tweetment""."

"you're lucky I can teach you how to shave my dad wasnt around to teach me. now watch *presses razor against face and moves head up and down*"

"Hows a forwardly plural Hitler hailed as? Shitler"

"My wife said I lack empathy I don't understand how she could feel that way."

"Roses are red, voilets are blue, Where is my foreskin? Oh wait im a jew."

"What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his ass A ba-boom."

"Marriage jokes A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird."

"Why do we still call them newspapers when most of them aren't on paper... and most of them don't contain news?"

"I should start a pizza place called original pizza, abreviated OP and it will only have take out. OP will not deliver"