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Joke of the Day

"I need a Life or a Clue but someone seems to have a Monopoly on them. So, instead, I'll take the Risk of sinking your Battleship."

"I'm going to open an ISIS themed cafe called Allahu Snackbar - our food is the bomb."

"No matter how far you push the envelope it will still be stationery (I know how to spell stationary)"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints"

"Did you hear about the peanut in the hospital? He was assaulted."

"When did razors get so expensive? Three more payments and I'll be able to shave"

"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was too much pride on his side."

"I like how people say pets love you unconditionally like if you didn't feed them and someone else did they wouldn't go to them immediately."

"How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)"