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Joke of the Day

"How do you know this is OC? Its not on the front page"

"To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner. They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway."

"Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter time? Cuz they'll get chapped lips. Brr."

"I will NEVER go bungee jumping... I came into this world because of broken rubber, no way am I leaving the same way"

"(Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!"

"Why are gametes used in big marketing campaigns? Because sex cells"

"I like my women like I like my wine. About 20 years old and locked in my cellar."

"I'm pretty sure the chick at this drive thru had me repeat, 'I'll take a number two', multiple times so she could laugh at me."

"I call my penis ""the coelacanth""... Because no one has seen it for 66 million years."

"What runs well and efficiently except when you need it to? The Seattle Seahawks"