156423

Joke of the Day

"Why do they call it Black Friday? I dunno, I'm just waiting to hear white people ask how come there's no White Friday."

"Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures..."

"When I die I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not like his terrified passengers."

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... ...without a penis"

"Just thought of one: Why is an abortionist good to have on your team? If you conceive something, they can execute it."

"We All KEA! My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, ""Assembly required."""

"Teach a man to fish and feed him for a day. Shoot him in the face and never have to deal with that whiny douchebag again."

"Schizophrenia? More like Schizofriendia. *voices agree*"

"The proper way to make a Caesar salad is to repeatedly stab it with dozens of other people in a Senate building."

"Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it's the most important meal."