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Joke of the Day

"""Doctor! Doctor! I think I may have Alzheimers!"" ""We had this discussion last week, Mr. Smith."""

"I just found out JFK was jewish. He was shot in the temple."

"Me: Ready for school? 7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost"

"Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!"

"Always respect a woman and never call her a bitch unless, you know, you're telling her to get you a sandwich."

"Why do people say clean as a whistle? Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit"

"What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back."

"I was born to be happy... not normal."

"What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine An L.L.Beaner"

"What is a tresspasser's least favorite number? The number 86. (No seriously. Google ""86"".)"