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Joke of the Day
"You're pretty like a pearl... ...Pearl Harbor; all shot up."
Next Joke
"Note to shelf: Thanks for keeping my stuff off the floor."
"Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy? Because they had good high jeans"
"The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes."
"When you're feeling down, just remember... you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year."
"How do you tell which potato on the street corner is the prostitute? It has a sticker on it that says ""Idaho."""
"ME: Would you ever get a tattoo? DAD: I don't even highlight in books"
"Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... Because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a Jew for all your problems."
"What's the difference between me and a cardboard box? A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside. :("
"How do you spot a egocentric vocalist? They warm up singing, 'Mi, mi, mi.... Mi!'"