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Joke of the Day
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"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. EDIT: LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."
"What do you call it when Usain Bolt is standing next to your mom? A runner in scoring position."
"Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??"
"Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas."
"Where do weirdos ride their bicycles? Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)"
"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."
"""Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it"". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI."
"There are 10 kinds of people... Those who know binary and those who dont."
"What do you call a monster with a wooden head? Edward."