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Joke of the Day

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel."

"How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb? They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation."

"My Muslim neighbor came to my house and asked ""Have you seen Mahid lately?"" I said, ""No, just your eyes."""

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off"

"Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury them."

"What do you call a gay fascist leader? A Dicktaker"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? Its cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"

"Why do women wear make up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink."

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it."

"Why did the pirate put springs on his treasure chest? He wanted to see that booty bounce."