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Joke of the Day

"My house is the only one on our street with Christmas lights up I guess the rest of the neighbours are a bunch of Jews"

"What if Steven hawking is the real slim shady We'll never know because he can't stand up"

"Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, it's okay, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say."

"Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I've decided it's basically cyber-hoarding..."

"I FREAKING SWEAR!! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME WHAT AN EASY-GOING, PATIENT, AND CHILL PERSON I AM, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!!!"

"My wife got mad at me for starting another British TV series... I said, ""don't worry, it'll be over soon."""

"Do retarded people know that they are retarded? Person A: Do retarded people know that they are retarded? Person B: I don't know, do you?"

"[Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie.."

"Why did God make four cheeks in the human body? he made an ass of the first two."

"What's the difference between a hook and a hooker? You can unscrew a hook, but you can't unscrew a hooker"