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Joke of the Day

"People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric."

"Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand english ~dogs"

"Why was the chess player pregnant? Because they were mated."

"What's the part of a book that's most likely to explode? The appendix."

"I can tell the way my kids inherited my sarcasm by the way I want to punch them in the face every time they use it."

"You find out who your real friends are when all you have left to offer is friendship."

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized"""

"Just go ahead and put ""She always had to pee"" on my tombstone, because that's how everyone's going to remember me."

"What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros? A cow can't be milked for over 30 years"

"Each day of my life is like a chapter in a book.....deserving of a happy ending...."