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Joke of the Day

"Answering Machines ""I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person."""

"Whose elbows are ashier than everyone else's? The Jews."

"A Mexican magician says he's going to make himself disappear on the count of three.. He says, uno.. Dos.. And then he vanished without a tres!"

"A club walks into a seal."

"My neighbor said ""nice skirt"" so I said, ""thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime."""

"How many Protestants does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They live in eternal darkness."

"What do Princess Diana, Kurt Cobain, and Pink Floyd all have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination? A log n truck."

"For pimps, prostitution must be alot like using pawn pieces in chess... They use them to do their dirty work, in promise that he'll one day make her into a queen."

"BEN CARSON'S WIFE: Are you coming home for dinner BEN CARSON: Go to ben carson dot com and read my plan to come home for dinner"