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Joke of the Day

"People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom."

"Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 189,463 times, you're the editor of HuffPo."

"What do you call a virgin redneck? An orphan"

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"Why Did Donald Trump Get Fired When He Was a Carpenter? He wouldn't take down any walls."

"[the followin is based on a true story] *clips of me hittin my shin on my bed every nite for a year* Narrator: its like he forgets its there"

"Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead"

"What medication that can make people inspire you? Aspirin sorry guys"

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."