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Joke of the Day

"Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries."

"The chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was to chicken."

"Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine."

"I'm at the vets..... A man opposite me weeps with an empty cage in his arms. I'd be crying too if I were that forgetful."

"If at first you don't succeed: try management."

"Recently I'm having a lot of bad dates! I've to try grapes now!"

"What happens when you throw root beer in the ocean? Root Beer Floats!"

"I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts."

"A man approached Bernard on the street.. Bernard was strollin' down the street when a man approached him asking ""Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?"" Bernard pushed him under a truck..."

"""You think I'm immature? Well, you know what! Our relationship is-"" *holds up imaginary walky-talky* ""Chhh-over."""