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Joke of the Day
"What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay? Heavy petting."
Next Joke
"Why did the polish navy start putting glass floors on their boats? So every time they went out to sea, they could look at their old ships."
"Do you want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.."
"How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti? Pasta pasta, pasta."
"What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston? One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard."
"""Predators are essential for a healthy ecosystem,"" I explained as I released a bobcat into the airduct"
"[Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys"
"A priest walks into a shoemakers shope... And says to the cobbler, ""Help! My soles need heeling!"""
"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."
"People who come up with these recommended serving sizes might just be the most deluded human beings on the planet."