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Joke of the Day

"My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato."

Next Joke
 
"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel."
"Final words on germanwings flight recorder: ""Dave's not here..."""
"How do you make a 4D printer? Just take a 3D printer and give it some time."
"Cop: license and registration. Me: I don't carry my drivers license so I don't lose it. Cop: where is it? Me: I have absolutely no idea."
"Asians are such bad drivers.. I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident."
"I really love the way the earth rotates... It makes my day."
"In hell, your mouth is always freshly brushed & minty, and all they have to drink is orange juice."
"I went to a zoo that only had no animals in it. I exclaimed, ""Doggone!"""
"The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish."