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Joke of the Day

"july 4th is my favorite holiday bc i can practice my Friends theme claps every time a firework explodes without anyone noticing"

"What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards? He ate himself!"

"""Boo!"" A priest startles. It was the holy ghost."

"What do you call a rigged carnival? An UnFair."

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy! Now I have to sit down when I pee."

"Me and my girlfriend always wanted a baby. We tried really hard, but nothing worked. We finally got one when we expected it the least! BAM, over the whole windshield."

"What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour? Everything's gonna be all white."

"Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop? To get some soles!"

"The number 13579 walks into a bar... barman says ""sorry, can't serve you, you're too odd"""

"What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL? Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants."