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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dehydrated frenchman? Pierre"

"Margret Thatcher Walks Up to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter looks at her and says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers."

"Take time to relax especially when you don't have time for it."

"Misery loves company. Company: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"Sometimes I'm playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over"

"Glad I'm not Spiderman cause I'd probably just make lots of web hammocks and take lots of naps."

"Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky."

"WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT"

"I was shocked to see how much vibrators cost these days... My wife must be sitting on a fortune."