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Joke of the Day

"Now that Benedict XVI is out of work... ...like all good celebs, he's releasing a fragrance. Expect to see Popepourri on the shelves this summer."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...drunk. (Now tell me yours)"

"I think we already know what's at the center of No Man's Sky's Galaxy Disappointment."

"What's the internal temperature of a Taun-Taun? Lukewarm"

"Hooking a clock on your belt It would just be a waist of time."

"The guy who made my sandwiches told me Have Fun as he handed them to me. Not sure what he thinks I was gonna do wit them"

"[sees cute girl jog by] ""Imma run up and ask her out"" [one block later still not caught up] ""Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"""

"Great news insomniacs! Only 12 sleeps til Christmas."

"What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!"

"To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!"