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Joke of the Day

"[he picks me up on 1st date] Him: What do you have there? Me: [struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down] Ham."

"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."

"Stop Flaming Faggots! A Non profit dedicated to informing the public about the fire dangers of bundled sticks and stacked firewood."

"First World Problems How to create FWP, Get a dog and a boy and throw the boy down the well and go get your dog to save him because you to lazy to do it *AMERICA*"

"I bet Billy Joel only needs to type in ""Cad"" before his phone's dictionary chimes in and recommends ""Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac."""

"Neil never had a girlfriend... So Neil Armstrong."

"Four gay men walk into a bar and there's only one available stool. What do they do? Flip the stool over."

"There is no more cake. This is my suicide note."

"What is white and disturbs your lunch? An avalanche"

"Hunters Two hunters are in the woods. One passes out, so the other calls 911. ""How may we assist you?"" ""I think my friend is dead."" ""Make sure he's dead."" *Bang* ""Done."""