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Joke of the Day

"5-year-old: How many pull-ups can you do? Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses? Me: Almost 1."

"Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it."

"What does Joaquin Phoenix say when a car almost hits him? ''Hey! I'm Joaquin here!''"

"Atleast there was one way that the new Ghostbusters was true to the original... It still had a black guy as one of the main cast."

"Irishman walks in to a bar HAHA! Get it? It is funny because it implies the Irishman left the bar before to be able to walk back in!"

"Knock knock. - Who's there? - I eat mop. - I eat mop who?"

"Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom? Because her pee is silent."

"Why are Canadians atheist? Because they are Eh-theists."

"The only thing worse than the one that got away is the one that won't go away"

"What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common? They both contain locked up loonies!"