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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend? A: ""Funny you don't feel Jewish."""

"I can't face my checkbook so I check my Facebook."

"A friend bet me I couldn't piss in a Dyson Airblade Boy, did that blow up in my face."

"Ed Hardy makes a wine. Just tasted some. With full-bodied undertones of asshat, its repugnant mouthfeel would pair well with a cheeseball."

"Really glad that ventriloquism has made fisting mainstream."

"Why did the shark swim in circles? He had a nosebleed."

"What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick? A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning.."

"How do you tell if a girl is wearing no knickers By the dandruff on her shoes"

"How to keep idiot waiting? I'll tell tomorrow."

"The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm ""no longer allowed in the library""."