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Joke of the Day

"If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem."

"What's 6"" long and women love it? 100$ bill."

"Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball"

"Firing Squad 2 men lined against a wall ready to be shot by a fireing squad..""have you any last requests""says the soldier...Yes says the man..can we stand behind the wall..."

"How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down."

"A man who has no right arm and no right leg falls off his wheelchair Thankfully, a woman passing by noticed him and approached him, offering some help. ""Are you alright?"" ""No, I'm not. I'm all left."""

"I walk around with a hockey bag filled with dildos & chihuahua's just in case Paris Hilton fires her assistant and is looking for a new one."

"Wife: [watching the news] oh God, did you see Petsmart got robbed?! Me: [loud barks coming from all 19 pockets of my parachute pants] nope"

"If a guitar player is a guitarist, and a piano player is a pianist, what's the term for someone who plays the banjo? Racist"

"I want to sleep my way to the top. Like with actual sleep. Wake me when I've conquered."